From Insecure to Peace.
Sorry blog, I have ignored you for far to long. For those of you reading this, brace yourself, it’s gonna be a long one.
It is hard to believe that little over a year ago I graduated from college. I don’t want it to seem that I am ungrateful for my four years at OBU, because they shaped who I am today, but I am in a far better place.
However coming to this place, has been one of the biggest challenges and struggles. Life after OBU brought me to Broken Arrow, OK. Living in BA was never in my plan, but here is the thing, it was never my plan to begin with.
A year later I am seeing the fruits of those tough, stressful, and hard four years. Is it still rough and stressful, yes, but it is a much more rewarding. Ever since I was a little girl, being a teacher was all I wanted to be, and in high school being music teacher was the dream. My dream came true. Everyday I get to teach 6th, 7th, and 8th graders choral music. It is everything I ever wanted, and with it comes new struggles.
My daily struggle: insecurity. Can I really make a difference, am I really teaching them something, and the biggest one can God really use me? These insecurities are Spiritual Warfare, everyday the enemy does what he does best, lie and deceive. I hear these things daily: during my fine arts class: these kids don’t care about what you are saying, how can you be doing a good job, during my choral rehearsals: that sounded horrible, you can’t do this, you are not good enough. These play over and over in my head all the time, but the thing is God brought me to this place for a reason.
I have my reasons to be insecure, everyone does, but when it comes to my job, I am the fifth vocal music teacher in five years. Five years of change, five years of struggle, five years of let down. I daily pray that I am not a pattern, that I changed things. Some one asked me the other day if I was called to my school and to my students. I am, the struggles some of my precious kiddos go through is far greater than the insecurities that I face. When I was in middle school I came home to a happy environment, my parents are still married to each other. The concept of step parent, step sibling was foreign to me. Some of my students have experienced more in their thirteen years on this planet than I have in my twenty three. They amaze me.
A few weeks ago I gave my insecurities to the Lord. Each day I prepare to hear the Lord speak. Each day I open my heart to His will, to His plan. He protects me and guards my heart. The answers to the questions I ask changed:
- I’m I teaching them enough?- Yes, you are sharing your heart with them. Sharing your passion.
- I’m I making a difference?- Yes, they smile, they trust you. For some of these children, trusting someone is the hardest thing they can do.
- What is next?-Hold on, not yet.
Moving to Broken Arrow, teaching here was all apart of God’s plan. Being here has drawn me closer to Him. I have been blessed by friendships that are honest and vulnerability is the cherished. I have a church family that has challenged and loved on me continually. I have set of mentors that pour in their years of experience into me and my teaching and have loved me along the way. All of this was in His timing. I will never forget the people, friends, and experiences that I had at OBU, but where I am now is far greater!!! And blog I promise I will spend more time with you….
“You are being protected by God’s power through faith for a salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. You rejoice in this, though now for a short time you have had to struggle in various trails so that the genuineness of your faith-more valuable than gold, which perishes though refined by fire-may result in praise, glory, and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.” 1 Peter 5-7
Interiors Addict is spending Christmas in chilly England so this open fire seemed appropriate!
Try one of these DIY packaging ideas
1.HOW TO: Recycled Coffee Can: This one’s easy. Simply wrap a coffee can and its lid with holiday wrapping paper. Attach a vivid-colored rick-rack trim or ribbon around the lid. Tie it all together with a wide bow.
2.HOW TO: Basket-Weave Lid: Cut light-green strips of ribbon just long enough to wrap around and slightly inside the lid of a gift box. Secure the ends of the ribbon to the inside of the lid with a hot glue gun. Cover lid completely with light-green ribbons, then weave deeper green ribbons between the light-green ribbons to achieve a lattice effect. Glue ends in place.
3.HOW TO: Newspaper Bow: Cut newspaper strips into desired width and various lengths. Form loops by folding ends of strip inward toward the center of strip; staple. Create small, medium and large looped strips; staple similar size strips together into an X shape. Stack X’s, longest to smallest, on top of each other in alternating directions; staple together in center. Make one small loop and glue into center to hide staples and complete bow.to achieve a lattice effect. Glue ends in place.
Love her writing!!!!
Love it!!!
My Poor Negleted Blog
Oh my sweet little tumblr blog, I’m so sorry that I have not been the best blogger in the world.
Let’s just say a lot has happened since my last post. I started teaching, and I love it. Christmas break is much needed and I promise to be a better blogger!!
Live and Learn
So last night Broken Arrow finally got rain!! However, I lost my power. Here is what I learned:
1. During a power outage you get to know your neighbors, only because you have nothing else to do.
2. You think you have everything you need when your power goes out, but you quickly realize you don’t. Next time I go to the store buying a flashlight.
3. When the power finally is restored at 5 am and you are fast asleep and the blaring loud tv wakes you up, you think the rapture just happened.
Italian Herb & Cheese Stuffed Tomatoes
http://thefreshfridge.com/2011/07/italian-herb-cheese-stuffed-tomatoes/
Very similar to stuffed bell peppers which I love!! Must try this soon!
Harmony and Me
I truly have some of the greatest friends in the world. Seriously. After spending about four hours trying to get ahead of the massive mess that is my storage closet and my filing cabinets, standing in line and dealing with countless amount of red tape to get my new Oklahoma Driver’s License, a night with good friends is what I needed. I’m so thankful for the wonderful people God has placed in my life, I love Sarah and Courtney like sisters. Plus Jon came and that was loads of fun!!
Sarah and her parents have such a beautiful home!! We ate tacos, talked, laughed, got caught up on each others lives, and watched an awful movie called Harmony and Me. It is this Indie comedy that was just bad, we stopped watching halfway through and started watching Arrested Development!!
One of the sweetest moments of the night was at the beginning, Courtney got Sarah and I the most adorable little WillowTree statues!! This will be going in my office for sure!! 
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